The Playboy Morning Show… and Tell!

It’s the beginning of Lent for all you Catholics out there, but in here we replace giving something up with simply giving it up.

Today’s show began with a test of brains, due to the recent results of a test that showed Americans don’t know very simple terms. We wanted to prove them wrong, so not only did we have our beautiful model Mariah answer them, she did while jumping on a trampoline. She passed with flying colors and it just goes to show you that Americans are, in fact, great. Case closed.

Next, we ran through some of our “Constructive Criticism” from viewers who have sent comments and suggestions to us on various social media platforms. It was actually the kindest round of criticism we’ve had yet, and we love you for that.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Christian Kane from the film “50 to 1,” which documents the unlikely story of racehorse Mine That Bird, a horse that won the Kentucky Derby in 2009 despite being a heavy underdog. Christian talked about meeting the horse himself, and how he got kicked out of the Playboy Mansion  and then invited back later.

We can to the realization that some horses have some pretty suggestive names, so we played a game called “Horse or Porn?” where we hear a name and have to guess if it belongs to a thoroughbred or to a movie that shows people thoroughly breeding. With titles like “Oh No It’s My Mother-In-Law,” “Gay Crusader,” and “Round and Brown,” it’s tougher than we thought.

Finally, to celebrate Ass Wednesday, we had Drew come back in to do a Playboy Confessional with Sister Mary Andrea and Pope Klein. After she confessed she got ash on her ass and was sent on her way. It’s good to be blessed.

Happy Fat Tuesday, folks! It’s time for Playboy Morning Show’s Party Gras!

We started the show off with a special Mardi Gras edition of Topless 10, which helped count down the best ways to get beads today. There’s all different kinds of flash techniques, and you’re gonna have to get creative if you want more beads than the girl next to you.

After that, we tried our hand at a little bead toss with a twist: a defender, trying to swat the beads before they reach the bare chests they were intended for. But we didn’t have just any old defender, we brought in Super Bowl-winning cornerback from the Seattle Seahawks,Walter Thurmond! And let us tell you, those beads didn’t stand a chance.

We chatted with Walter about what it feels like to take down the best offense in football, and also which finger his ring is going to go on (it’s his pinky). He was a good sport (no pun intended) and even got some couch time with our beautiful ladies.

We took a short break, and sent our models Lisa, Lisa Marie, andRachel out to work on their floats for our Party Gras Parade. In the meantime, we welcomed in Jason Rosell, a personal trainer and fitness expert who’s been making waves with his “Sexercise” style of cardio training. The routine features muscle groups that are commonly associated with sexual positions and moves, so people can really blow their partner’s mind in the bedroom. We’re completely on board with that.

It wouldn’t be complete without a thorough demonstration, though, so we had our models come back in and get on their giant balls and start bouncing. At this point, if it looks that good, it’s gotta be effective.

Finally, it was time to parade our various vehicles and modes of transportation into the studio and try to get the most beads. In the end, Lisa Marie took home this year’s crown and landed the most beads. Don’t forget to carry beads around with you today, just in case somebody wants them more than you do.

Time to rev up another week of Morning Shows, so let’s pull the cord and let ‘er fly…

Today began with a brand new Playboy Poll, where we come to you, the viewer, to help us answer a “questionnaire” of sorts. Today’s topic was “When is the best time to have sex?” Chelsie represented our morning lovers, Erin was our afternoon delight, and Cody brought up the evening. Throughout the show, we came back to see what most people prefer.

Next, we heard some more crazy stories from around the country, where people get naked in public and we tell their story… It’s Good Naked/Bad Naked! Today, we heard about a naked man crawling across a busy street, and a woman who was nude and threw rocks at cars and started a fire. Those things seem dangerous even WITH clothes on…

After that, we checked in with the first of many “Awards You Didn’t See Last Night,” where we bring you deleted sexy scenes from this year’s Oscar contenders. We saw “Her on Her,” “12 Years a Sex Slave,” and some reverse cowgirl action that didn’t make it into “Dallas Buyer’s Club.” Sometimes there’s not enough time in the movie, but good thing we’re here to pick up the pieces.

We took a short break and then came back to do a special red carpet lesbian chicken in honor of Ellen hosting the Academy Awards. Cody and Erin squared off as Chelsie gave us the play-by-play. In the end, Cody bowed out, making Erin the winner. That’s one game that never gets old.

Finally, our poll results are in! Morning came out with a commanding win at 48%, evening had 32%, and afternoon as in the rear with 20%. Way to make your voices heard. That’s what democracy is all about.