Happy Thursday, ya’ll. We had an awesome October show lined up for you, so let’s get ‘r dun.

We started things today by running through a nice tip if you plan on trying out our new hashtag #tittybombing. Don’t forget to send in your pics, like Jeremy did, and we’ll feature them on our show!

Next up, we had Mr. Skin on the line to talk about all things celeb booties and boobies. January Jones came up again, as her movie is coming out in limited release this weekend, and if you want to learn EVEN more, check out Skin’s website, and be sure to hit up his store while you’re there. You never knew you needed a Mr. Skin beach towel until just this moment.

After that it was time to run through our first ever Playboy Morning Show Topless Ten List! This idea, which is legally distinct and separate from any other unnamed lists out there, had to do with the ongoing government shutdown that’s sweeping the nation. Man, if we can get our shit sort of together every morning, but our government can’t… something is seriously wrong.

We took a quick break, and then it was time to bring in Miss October 2013, Carly Lauren! Kevin’s idea that if a girl has two first names, she’s extra hot was once again proven correct, as Carly’s 5’9” frame is everything a perfect playmate can be. We ran through her Playmate Pick Six, with our sexy model Paris handing out balls out of her ringleader hat (if you haven’t seen Miss October’s spread, a: check it out NOW, and b: it’s circus themed), and Carly gave us her best answers. She passed with flying colors, of course.

Finally, we brought in the rest of our models: Adria, Casey, and Kali to go through three rings of our big top in-studio circus, in celebration of Miss October’s spread. The similarities between a circus and this show are staggering…

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It’s Wednesday. The day of the week that’s hardest to spell. Right?

Anyway! We had a great show today, and it all started by us dropping a bomb: a Tittybomb to be precise. We’re introducing a new hashtag to the Twitter-verse: #tittybombing. What’s a tittybomb, you ask? Why, we had the super sexy Jade come in and explain to us that it means when you spice up the background of someone’s boring pictures by flashing your boobs in the background. Happy bombing, and remember to share your exploits with us @PBMorningShow.

Next up, as everyone knows October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. We love boobies probably more than any other show on TV, so we’d be remiss if we didn’t spread the word on how to give your hot friend a little breast check-up. We brought in Rachel and Kate, two of our very fine models, to give us a little demonstration on the rug in the middle of the room. Remember, you should do these at least once a month, but we recommend way more than that…

After that, it was time to get to another naughty Halloween costume. We’re not even close to running out of ideas for this year, so you have no excuse! Today, we featured a sexy Chef’s outfit, which leaves the back almost completely open. As per usual, the less fabric, the better.

We took a quick break, and then it was time to welcome in our guests, The FarEast Movement! They came in to promote their new single and video, featuring Riff Raff entitled “The Illest.” Check that ish out on Youtube, son! Ahem…. sorry about that.

To round out the show, we brought all of our sexy models back into the studio to play a round of “Nip Hop.” With a little coaching from the guys, each lady got up and spun her best lyric, to find out if any of these dimes could actually rhyme.\

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Hello, everyone! It’s Topless Tuesday, and that means we’ve got more nudity than usual on the docket for you today.

We started things by running through Topless (face-less) Tuesday, where the girls introduced their girls without giving away what they looked like, so that they could compete in the continuation of the Fuck-Me Voice later in the show.

That later in the show… just happened to be next! The Fuck-Me Voice continued for its third straight Tuesday, and both Kevin and Andrea’s teams are really starting to take shape. We had our super sexy models Mel, Peru, and Adrienne come in and try to coerce our hosts into turning in their seats. At the end of the segment, Andrea added Adrienne, and Kevin took Peru to flesh out their squads.

After a short break, we came back to welcome in our three special guests: “Trevor,” “Michael,” and “Franklin” from the newest installment in the Grand Theft Auto video game series. The guys behind the characters’ voices and faces came in to chat with us about the wild success of the game, and what having new-found fame is really like. The controversial “hot coffee” part of the last game (where you could have sex, on-screen) was recreated by us here in the studio with… actual hot coffee. But it was brought out by a naked girl, so it’s pretty much the same thing.

Lastly, we ran through another sexy Halloween costume: the scandalous Flapper girl. Don’t think that just because it’s old-timey, doesn’t mean it has to be modest…

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Ahh, Monday. The world still has that new week smell. Let’s get to the show.

We began the festivities today by reviewing Kevin’s pictures that he took while away this weekend in Cabo. Apparently they have the coolest mascot their side of the border in a muy guapo blue penis pill.

After that, we quickly ran through Andrea’s Titty Picks from last week, and she did pretty well, sitting at 80%. So far, her girls are doing alright.

Next, we chatted on the phone with Karen Marley, who is a self-proclaimed “serial mistress” who has dated over 100 married men in the UK. She talked about what it’s like to date (and not necessarily even sleep with) men who are “just looking for some companionship.” Watch your back, ladies. Or your man’s back… Either way.

We took a short break and then came back into some Good Naked, Bad Naked stories with the help of our four brand new models, Gabrielle, Barbie, Heather, and Kristen, we ran through the nude news. The animal penis-eating story out of Asia was particularly memorable. Obviously.

Right at the end, Hal Sparks dropped by to hang out and also talk about his band Zero 1, who are playing at the House of Blues tonight.

To round out the show, Andrea broke out her titties to pick one final game for the week, and went with Atlanta over New York tonight, so place your bets accordingly.

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It’s Thursday! You know what that means… Time to get thirsty.

Alright. We started things here by talking with our Thursday friend Mr. Skin about some cool upcoming nudity we can expect. We spoke about things like the re-make of “Carrie” and other spooky Halloween films that are always good for a little skin.  Also, don’t forget to check out some nakedness from the past on his site, like Alyssa Milano’s ta-tas in that one vampire movie.

Next, we welcomed in Annie Lederman, a funny comedian who you should definitely check out on Twitter. She stuck around to help us play one of our favorite games, “Name That ALLEGED Perv.” Our sexy models, Grace, Rachel, and Lindsey all came in to read us stories of crimes that were allegedly committed, and it was up to Kevin, Andrea, and Annie to guess who they thought did the deed. Allegedly.

After that, we brought in Justin Jedlica, who calls himself “The Human Ken Doll,” due to the fact that he’s had over 100 plastic surgeries. In his own words, “If something is worth doing, it’s worth over-doing.” Since he’s such an expert with bodily modifications, we wanted to test if he could determine what, if anything, our models have had enhanced. Sometimes, looks are actually skin deep (because under that skin is a bunch of silicone).

We ran out of time for Titty Picks, but after the show, Andrea picked the Seattle Seahawks to come out over the other birds from Arizona.

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Happy Wednesday, ya’ll. Let us get to the show. But don’t forget to keep sending in your #tittybombing pics to @PBMorningShow

We started things off today by talking with one of our beautiful models who just happens to be single in our “Top Model Adoption” segment. Jessica gave us the dirt on what she likes and doesn’t like, so that YOU can learn the facts and maybe pick up a hottie yourself.

Next, we talked to Madelyn Sheaffer on the phone, who recently got kicked out of a waterpark for wearing a bikini that was too revealing. She says that she recently lost a bunch of weight and wanted to finally flaunt her hard-earned body. We looked at the evidence and found that it was a clear-cut case of big boobie discrimination, which as we all know is the worst kind of discrimination. Stay strong, big-breasted women of the world, and don’t let others’ jealousy get you down.

After a short break, we came back to play “This Day in History… if History were sexy.” We had our super sexy historian Brittany come into the studio and explain the Cuban missile crisis to us, which happened on this day in 1962. According to her, a lot of LSD was involved in Russia and the USA’s throwdown, and Melody and Charlie came in to help her re-enact the events as she told them. So don’t say you don’t learn anything from this show. It may not necessarily be completely accurate, but let’s not split hairs here.

We then welcomed in to the studio one of our college reps from this month’s college issue of Playboy. Her name is Hayley Taylor, and she is from the University of Colorado in Boulder. From what she talked about, it seems like a pretty fun place. And here we thought all they had there was mountains and John Denver.

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Finally, we welcomed Jessica back in to give us another Halloween costume in the form of a Can-Can Dancer. If you think you’ve got the moves, you can-can wear this out in public. Not that you should-should.

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Happy Topless Tuesday! We had jam-packed show stacked up for you today, so let’s get to it.

We began things by explaining our absence yesterday. No, it’s not because we love Columbus, our BATHROOM was getting fixed. How sexy is that?? Well, at least we’re honest with you.

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month (formerly known as “October”), Kevin gave Andrea a breast exam of sorts. It was more of a breast test, to see if they were, in fact, “big.” It turns out if you’ve had underboob sweat, people staring at your boobs instead of your face, and what’s being described as “demi cup overflow” (look it up), then YOU may be suffering from big breasts. So go see a doctor, or a friend, or a group of strange men and get tested to find out for sure.

Next, it was time for the Fuck-Me voice. Both Kevin and Andrea’s teams are starting to take sexy shape, so when we had Sarah, Sarah Beth, and Bobbi come in and try their best to get our hosts to turn around. As the dust settled, it turned out that Kevin picked up Sarah, and Andrea got Sarah Beth (who is one person).

After a quick break, we came back to continue our Halloween costume countdown, and Bobbi showed us her sexy French Maid costume. A few tips for this one: create an interesting fusion between this outfit and your actual ethnicity. For example, be a Mexican/French Maid, or a Canadian/French Maid, etc. etc.

Following that, we called up two rival girls from ASU and U of A, both of whom you can check out in this month’s issue of Playboy, who were gracious enough to throw down in a battle of the college babes. From Arizona State we had Shanice Jordyn, and from the University of Arizona we had Ginny Connor go toe to toe in a Skype-enger hunt. We only got through one round, but we’ll have to make sure to have them both back again to see who comes out on top.

Finally, we had our lovely models come back in and try their very best to do “Nip or Treat,” to see if they could pick up candy with their breasts. We’d say, stick to your hands while you go around the neighborhood.

We’re chugging on through the week, and also chugging on some booze. It’s Thirsty Thursday and here’s our show…

We began things by checking in with one of our sexy models who is growing out her “Muff-vember” muff-stache in the style of the “toothbrush.” We’ve gotta say, it’s coming along nicely after just a week. Keep letting those fur flags fly!

Next, we chatted with Mr. Skin on the phone, who brought us some new celebrity boobies and booties. Natalie Portman and Kate Bosworth are featured on his site, as well as Jennifer Aniston’s up-for-debate body double scandal. Be the judge for yourself, what do you have to lose?

After that, we started Beauty and The Beast Tweets, where we get a tweet and then guess whether it came from a hot chick or a notorious celebrity. It’s tougher than you think, although grammar is a pretty good indicator…

We took a quick break and then talked on the phone to Dr. Muhammed Mirza, who is an erectile dysfunction expert, and he enlightened us as to which states have the best and worst penile health. Impress your friends with your knowledge! The best is Colorado and the worst is Florida. Makes sense when you think about it.

Finally, we finished off with a nice round of Hefardy, where our models Chelsie, Jennifer, and Chloe squared off in a battle of wits and tits. Sarah was our gracious board-girl, and even got her bra bet off on one of the questions so she didn’t feel left out. Aw, teamwork.

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Happy Hump Day! If you watch our show, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the middle of the week…

We started things off today by singling out bullying. Our girls helped throw our hat into the ring of bullying smackdowns worldwide by reading tips throughout the show. Per usual, some were less helpful than others (which were even less helpful)…

After that, we went into a brand new segment on the show: Movie Reviews! Our twist is that these ladies have only seen the trailer. We had the Howe twins take a look at the trailer for “Last Vegas” and give us their thoughts. After two minutes, they gave their verdict: two nips up, good trailer! Be on the lookout for more movie (trailer) reviews coming soon.

Next, it was time to clean out our inbox… by checking our Fe-Mail! Erika graced us by reading out some e-mails we’ve gotten from fans and spammers alike, so keep those coming, because we may just read your request live on our show. But, you can stop with the erectile dysfunction pills, we’re set in that department.

We took a quick break, and then welcomed in frequent bull-ee and all-around funny man Brad Williams. Brad’s an old friend of the show and has a new CD out called “Hi, ho!” which is hilarious, so you should definitely buy it. I mean, check out his Halloween costume. He’s Miley Cyrus on a wrecking ball. You know that CD is gonna be baller.

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Finally, as yesterday was election day (if you forgot, don’t worry, so did most people), and a few key bills passed in various states. In Maine you can smoke weed, in Illinois you can marry someone with your same junk, and in New York you can gamble all your money away, and Johnny Law can’t do a damn thing about any of it. We think it’s fantastic, so to celebrate we did some gambling in the form of “Rack Jack,” with the help of our human deck of cards Kristen and played a scintillating round of “Lesbian Chicken” with Carolyn and Ericka. God Bless America.

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It’s Tuesday, ya’ll. Time to get down with the show.

We began things today by welcoming in MJ, GG, and Mike from Bravo’s “Shahs of Sunset.” Season three premieres tonight, and if you follow the show, you know that these Persians sure know how to party, and they know all about the finer things. As such, we wanted to test their knowledge by pitting fine champagne, coffee, and lingerie against things bought at the dollar store and seeing if they could tell which was which. They did pretty well, so good going, and be sure to check out the premiere tonight.

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After that, it was time to paint some naked ladies! With the help of two regular dudes, our models Katie, Kate, Jade, and Valerie stripped down and let these two lucky dudes go to work.

As the “creative process” was happening, we chatted over Skype with Wiser and Red from the SyFy show “Naked Vegas,” which follows around four artists who paint naked models. They gave us some insight into the perks and perils of painting the human body (literally), and what it’s like to have a paintbrush snatched from your hand by some butt cheeks.

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Finally, the final products were ready for the adoring public, and it was the Bob Ross-inspired tree-scape that won the top prize. Watch out, Sistine Chapel…

Hello everyone! Let’s get to the show…

Things began today with a short chat about internet privacy, and a healthy reminder to always make sure that when you post comments, it doesn’t link to your various social media outlets. It can cost you. This has been your Plaboy PSA of the day.

After that, it was time to do a quick Titty Pick Recap, and we discovered that Kevin is starting to pull ahead after another Sunday of football. It’s the mid-point of the season, and Andrea’s gonna have to start going with some upsets if she wants to have any chance of coming out on top.

Next, we kicked off a month-long challenge with the help of our lovely models Tawny, Mariela, and Krista. Since many guys are growing out their mustaches for Mo-Vember, we decided that the ladies could show some solidarity by growing out some non-facial hair. We are officially declaring this the month of “Muff-Vember” and will be checking in to see how the ladies’ petite handlebar, toothbrush, and smell old gym teacher styles are coming along.

We took a break and then it was time to welcome in Chris Jericho! Chris has a new web series called “But I’m Chris Jericho,” where he plays a tongue-in-cheek version of himself, and you should definitely hit up Youtube and check it out.

Since Chris has been in so many crazy submissions and holds over his many years as a pro wrestler, we decided it would be fitting for him to judge a round of “Position: Impossible.” Our models came back into the studio and got into various sexual positions based on clues given by Kevin and Andrea. That’s how you really make somebody tap, apparently.

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Thirsty. Throwback. Practice Friday. Call it what you will. It’s Thursday. Let’s get to the show.

We began things today by checking in on another one of our beautiful models’ progress for Muff-vember. She’s actually had some success growing the horizontal hair patch down there, and even has a respectable Dali look going on. Keep it up, ladies. You’re halfway there.

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After that, we chatted on the phone with Mr. Skin, who highly recommends finding “Blue Is The Warmest Color” in its limited theatrical release, because it’s got some hot girl-on-girl for about 12 minutes. Mercy.

Next, we welcomed in Sanaa Lathan, from the new film “The Best Man Holiday,” which hits theaters this Friday. Sanaa talked about what it’s like doing a sequel 15 years later, and the size of everybody’s trailers on set. Actors are very territorial.

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After a short break, we Titty-Picked tonight’s Colts/Titans football game. Andrea went with the Titans for the upset, and Kevin played it safe with the Colts. We’ll have to wait ‘n see.

Next, to celebrate Hawaii’s recent same-sex marriage law by playing a round of Hawaiian Lesbian Chicken! We welcomed in Chelsie and Rachel, who are actually both bisexual in real life, so you know they’re gonna be in it to win it. Each girl made a move, and then the other responded, getting more and more seductive at every turn. Eventually Rachel tapped out and Chelsie was technically the winner, but I think we all win whenever Lesbian Chicken goes down. Good on you, Hawaii. If you want to see more Lesbian Chicken, make sure those laws pass in YOUR state. It’s up to you!

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Finally, we continued our march toward Thanksgiving food madness by introducing our next ingredient: good ol’ corn. Instead of chowing down on an ear, we did a little mouth-to-thigh corn relay that ended at our specially decorated Thanksgiving card table. Just like where Mom still makes you sit after all these years.

Welcome to Wednesday! Let’s get over the hump.

We began things today by reminding people to continue to use November as an excuse to grow out a Muff-stache! We had Cody come into the studio to tell us about her progress so far, and her plans for the future. Keep at it, ladies.

After that, we read a few tweets from you guys featuring the hashtag #AssWednesday. Not really sure why that’s trending, but we’re not complaining over here. And we had the girls read the tweets with their butts for good measure. You brought this on yourselves.

Next, we talked on Skype with Lexi Sims, who is one of our Cyber Girls. We had Lexi do a Sexy Skype Scavenger Hunt in her home, which was already decked out in Christmas stuff. After the two minutes, she had completed a record 8 challenges! She and her cage lingerie should be proud.

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We took a break for a couple minutes and then came back to play “Know It or Show It,” the world’s longest-running naked game show. We brought in Cody, Veronica, and Toryn to put their clothing on the line against their trivial knowledge. With questions surrounding Obamacare, Numbers, and Fantasy Football, our models were naked in a few short minutes.

Finally, as Thanksgiving approaches, we are giving thanks here on the Playboy Morning Show by celebrating little-known uses of popular Thanksgiving foods. Today’s special was cranberry sauce, a staple of any Thanksgiving table, and no one was quite sure why… until today. We figured out it can also be used as body paint, or allergy-resistant lube (assuming you’re not allergic to cranberries…).

It’s Topless Tuesday here in the Mini Mansion, and we had a doozie of a show to celebrate.

We kick-started the show with a bit of science. With “This Day in History… if Only History Were Sexy,” we examined the Voyager 1 Spacecraft flying close to Saturn and taking the first pictures of its rings and its moon Titan. We had the lovely Carly break it down for us and then had Saturn (Gigi) and Voyager 1 (Chloe) come into the studio and show us first-hand what that encounter would have looked like 33 years ago… if it were super sexy. Some would even say it was… out of this world. PUN OVERLOAD–

Ahem. Sorry about that. Next, we had a special surprise for Andrea, in the form of a mystery guest… This “guest” was on the phone and answered Andrea’s questions to see if she could guess who it was. After much fierce interrogation, she came into the studio, and it turned out to be E.G. Daily, most famous for playing Dottie in Andrea’s favorite movie “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.” Most recently, E.G. was seen as a contestant on “The Voice,” where she wowed the judges with her rendition of the song “Breathe.”

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After a quick break, we had our sexy model Grace come in and tell us about the first item of our ongoing Thanksgiving food countdown. It’s arguably one of the most important, most versatile, and most overlooked foods: butter! To finally give butter its due moment in the sun, we placed it on the bodies of our hot models and watched as it melted away. We knew our girls were hot, but we always thought of that more as a colloquialism than a straight fact; I guess all that liquid butter proves it.

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Happy Monday, ya’ll! We had a great start to our shows this week, so let’s make like a hot chick walked by and check ‘er out.

We began things by going over out Titty Picks from last week, and Kevin continues to slowly pull ahead of Andrea. It’s not looking good for Team Titties, but we’re not giving up hope. Andrea went with Tampa Bay for tonight’s game, so we’ll have to see how that plays out.

After that, it was time for Good Naked/Bad Naked, where our hot models Victoria, Ashley, Jenna, and Lauren came in and read clues so that our hosts could guess whether it was good or bad naked. If it was bad, our ladies would then re-create it in order to make it good. It’s just one of the many public services these gals do.

Next, we introduced Pete Holmes, who has his own talk show on TBS. This tall funnyman is also a talented artist, and he showed us his skills when he went up against Andrea, who is our resident artist. Both turned out pretty well, especially given their short assignment time.

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Now, since Pete is new to the TV game, we know he is going to have to put up with a lot of criticism. We had our ladies come in and read some of the things they’ve said about his show, in varying levels of nakedness based on meanness, to soften the blow. He took it pretty well, but that might have something to do with the titties.

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Finally, as it is Veteran’s Day, we had our girls model some outfits based on the branches of the military, and then show off their specific talents. God Bless America.

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Happy Thursday, everybody. We had a jam-packed show, so let’s get down to it.

We started things off today by doing the first of many check-ins on our Cuddle Cam, where our girls were taking short naps and testing out various cuddle positions. Aww…

Next, it was time to talk to Mr. Skin, who gave us a peek at all the celeb nudity from his site. This week, he showed some paparazzi photos of a certain big-boobed “Mad Men” star, and a new star in the “Hunger Games” series who bared all back in 2009, so be sure to check it out!

After that, we welcomed in Josh Hiller from Roadstoves, the service that rents out trucks so that people can start their own Food Truck business. Joining him was Taylor from Steel City Sandwiches, one of the trucks you can find driving around Los Angeles. Check out November’s Playboy to see this dream become attainable for YOU, on the “Fuck-it List.”

We took a short break, and then we Skyped with Samantha Hess, who is a professional cuddler out of Portland, Oregon. Our models Crystal, Cody, and Veronica came in and tested out some of her patented professional moves, and saw how they compared to some of their favorites.

Finally, we welcomed in Problem and Bad Lucc, who are two rappers with a new song called “Understand Me.” They chatted about the time Problem got a handjob on stage, and then helped judge our next installment in Thanksgiving Food, TURKEY. Arguably the most important dish of the day, we had our sexy models do some hand-turkey drawings on each others’ boobs. Final food is tomorrow, so be sure to tune and check it out…

It’s Wiener Wednesday. That’s not really a thing yet, but we’re trying to make it stick. #wienerwednesday is in your hands…

The show began today with another lovely Playwalking segment with November Playmate Gemma Lee. Just because someone is from New Zealand doesn’t mean that they don’t know what Super Sizing means. #wienerwednesday.

After that, we had girls come in to do a little Morning Show Confession with Sister Mary Andrea and Rabbi Kevin. The topic of confession this week was small penis stories (#wienerwednesday), and the girls admitted their true feelings upon seeing small penises in their past. After a short blessing and tithe of their bras, they were cleansed.

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Next, we welcomed in Patrick Moote, from the film “Unhung Hero,” which follows his trials and tribulations around having a small penis himself (#wienerwednesday). We heard what it was like to have his marriage proposal rejected in front of millions, and the search for the truth that followed to see if size really mattered.

We took a quick break and welcomed in Brian Spitz, the director of the movie, to offer his perspective on the penis-growing methods seen in the film. Then, it was time to for our lovely models Lauren, Lindsey, and Emily to try some breast-enhancing techniques of their own. Everything from magic lotion, to vibration, and simply slapping them was tried, and we’re not sure if they worked, but they sure were hypnotizing to watch, if you know what we mean… #wienerwednesday.

Happy Topless Tuesday, folks! Lose the shirts and let’s get to it.

We started things off by chatting with our models Paris, Lauren, Charlotte, and Sandra about their experience with athletes and rodeos, as they will be testing their skills later in the show.

On that note, we welcomed in Darcy LaPier, rodeo racer extraordinaire, whose new show “Rodeo Girls” on A&E premieres next month. The show follows the drama around the lives of five super hot cowgirls, and looks pretty wild, so be sure to check it out.

Since Darcy is such an expert, we had our models come back in and get into the saddle… literally. Each girl tried their hand at riding, lassoing, and hot-tying and then gave the single Darcy a little bit of new-age dating advice. See, everybody’s got something they’re good at.

After a tiny break, we talked on the phone with Chris Krolow, the CEO of Private Islands, Inc. In the November issue of Playboy, there’s an article entitled the “Fuck-It List,” where services that you’d only think the super-rich could afford, but it turns out it’s cheaper than you think. See where we’re going with this? For the price of a Hyundai, you could own a small island! You can’t drive a small island to work, but who would want to when you could just chill on your island all day? Especially after watching what a few naked girls could do to the landscape.

Finally, to continue our Thanksgiving food countdown, we had our island beauties make some String Bean-kinis. And just when you thought we ran out of items to make bikinis out of, too.

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Happy Monday, folks. It’s a brand new week, but more importantly, we here at the Playboy Morning Show are celebrating our 400th episode! Woo hoo! We’re pretty stoked, and throughout the show today, we featured Shout-Outs from some of our Playmate Friends, and peeked into the Vault at some of our favorite moments of the past 399 episodes. 400 episodes is a lot of boobies, guests, and calls from shut-ins, and we’re glad that you all could share them with us.

Aside from all the celebratory hoopla, we also had some segments to get to. The first of the day came to us from Krista, who shared with us her Muff-progress throughout Muff-vember. Blondes have to try extra hard when it comes to growing visible body hair, so we appreciate her effort. Don’t give up now, the month’s already half over!

We also had a special surprise guest bring us in a 400th episode cake, and it turned out to be none other than Fat Sal of Fat Sal’s Sandwiches. His Big Fat Fatty Sandwich was one of Andrea’s favorite Feastiality’s and he also is an expert on gravy, which happened to be our Thanksgiving Food of the Day.

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Since gravy was on the menu, we thought it would be appropriate to take water off list of main ingredients in wet t-shirt contests, and let gravy have a turn. That’s right, it’s a Gravy T-Shirt Contest, and with Fat Sal’s expert commentary, the girls actually did a pretty good job of it.

Lastly, to put the icing on the cake, we had one of our models jump INTO a cake. The jumping out of the cake is so played out.

Thanks again for 400 episodes and here’s to 400 more!

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Happy Thirst-day, folks! We had a lot going on today, so let’s get to it.

We began things as most Thursdays begin here in the Mini Mansion, with a chat with Mr. Skin. Skin’s list of the top 10 nude scenes from all of 2013. Whoa. There are some serious doozies on here, so be sure to hit up mrskin.com and check them out. Maybe a few times.

After that, we welcomed in Janae and Ben Peterson fromcandylandlingerie.com, who were in to show off their holiday line of sexy negligee. Our super hot models Carolyn, Heather, Erika, and Jamie came in to show off a snowman set, candy cane set, sexy elf, sexy santa, and even some light-up “stud” boxers for the gentlemen. ‘Tis the season.

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We took a short break and then we spoofed a viral K-mart ad the only way we know how: by adding boobs to make it better. We didn’t disappoint and… well, sometimes pictures say more than words:

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Finally, we continued our present unwrapping, and the ladies picked a gift that they had to get into… and then switch panties. These models sure know their stuff when it comes to quick changes in small enclosed spaces. Don’t get your hopes up that you’ll find anything as sexy under your tree, unless you’ve been REALLY good this year.

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Happy Hump Day, ya’ll. Let’s get to brass tacks.

Today we started things off with a rousing round of STATUE TALK with Kevin and Andrea. If you haven’t heard, there’s some controversy over which Statue of Liberty (the one on Ellis Island or the one in Vegas) was used on an American stamp. The one in Vegas is definitely sexier, but we thought we could do one better, so we had our resident French chick Ruby try on our green pointy headdress and torch to become the sexiest Statue of Liberty to date.

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After that, it was time for another Naughty or Nice battle, with the Howe twins coming in to serve as Emily Rose’s devil and angel and convince us as to whether her story is naughty or nice. After much, MUCH deliberation, it was determined that Emily belongs up on the naughty list with Andrea.

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We took a short break, and then it was time to welcome in our guest for the day, comedian Damien Fahey, who is the former host of TRL on MTV, and now hosts radio shows here in LA, as long as contributing to things like someecarsds.com online. We played one of our favorite games, Name That Alleged Perv, with Damien, and his perv-recognition skills were put to the test.

Damien’s true talent lies in his hilarious tweets (be sure to follow him, you won’t regret it), and so we thought it would be appropriate to play Top Tweets vs. Top Teats. Our models came back into the studio to try and distract Damien while he came up with a brilliant tweet right there on the spot. Just under the wire, he got it in, and proved that he’s up there with the best tweeters in the universe. That’s one of the internet’s most prestigious honors.

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It’s Tuesday, time to unwrap another fabulous Playboy Morning Show!

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We started things off today by talking with Lisa about a recent story that happened to her… and our other models Lauren and Carrie were her devil and angel, who debated whether her story was naughty or nice. Eventually, it was decided that having a three-way and keeping the film all to yourself was nice, so she can expect something good from Santa this year…

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After that, it was time to unwrap one of our presents from under our gorgeous little tree. Lauren came in to pick her prize, and while she unwrapped her gift, Lisa unwrapped Lauren… and then herself, because Christmas is about giving as well as receiving. Lauren’s gift turned out to be peppermint panties! How festive. She modeled them for us and then Lisa started eating them off. If you ask us, that’s way better than a candy cane.

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Next, we talked about the upcoming January/February double issue of Playboy and how we can expect a real treat for our beloved magazine’s 60th anniversary. Our centerfold will be none other than supermodel Kate Moss! Be sure to look out for that later this month, and in the mean time, peek at our December issue.

After a short break, we welcomed in someone else who’s featured in next year’s double issue of Playboy, comic writer Joe Casey. Joe and his partners are behind some seriously successful cartoon franchises, and he has a new comic book called “Sex” out now. Joe shared with us some of his wisdom about the history of sex in comics, and we even pitched him our own idea for an extra-graphic novel: Super Pubes. He says he’s never heard a bad idea for a comic, and that today is no exception, so we’re inclined to believe him.

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Lastly, we haven’t forgotten our Jewish friends in the audience who are celebrating Hannukkah. To prove that we’re down with the tribe as much as any other group, we played one of our favorite games: Strip Dreidel! Our sexy models came back into the studio and spun the top and lost their tops in a game steeped in tradition here in the Mini Mansion. Mazel tov, everyone!

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Hello, world! We are back from our week off, and ready to get into the holiday spirit. We’ve got some gifts from our magazine under the tree, and will be adding more as the month continues.

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To start things off, it is Cyber Monday, so we talked with our first of two Skype girls, Shantal. We’re checking out our “sales” on these ladies, with them going anywhere from 50-100% clothing off!

Next, we checked in with our Muff-vember ladies one last time. Tawny was in the studio and Mariela joined us on Skype to give us their final results, which happened to be pretty good. We may have just started another trend… But! It is December now, and as such, we had Gigi help Tawny shave that ‘stash in the shower. Until next year, Muff-stashers.

After that, we played a game based on people’s inclinations to show you pictures of their Thanksgiving turkeys. It’s called Turkey or Jerky, and we have to guess whether a close-up shot is of a beautiful model or a fine Thanksgiving feast. Here’s a pro tip: nobody cares what your turkey looked like.

We took a quick break, and then talked with Stephanie, our second Cyber Monday sexy Skype chick, who went all the way 100% (clothing) off! God bless us, everyone.

Finally, we welcomed in Bobbie Brown, video vixen from the Warrant music video “Cherry Pie.” She’s got a new book out called “Dirty Rocker Boys,” and it’s full of crazy drug-fueled rock ‘n roll stories, so be sure to check it out. Since she is responsible for sexualizing a whole dessert, we wanted to play some Musical Cherry Pies. We had our models come into the studio blindfolded and play musical chairs, but a few chairs were filled with cherry pie. It’s a sticky situation.

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Last but not least, it was time for the ceremonial lighting of the Playboy Morning Show Holiday Tree. And what a glorious sight it was.

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It’s Thirsty Thursday, and we’ve got a cold glass of Morning Show to get you started.

We kicked things off today by talking with our good friend Mr. Skin, who counted down his top TV shows of 2013, which ended up being “Orange is the New Black,” “Game of Thrones,” and “Masters of Sex.” If you haven’t seen these shows yet, don’t take our word for it… take Skin’s. He knows these things.

After that, we played a special round of the world’s longest-running naked game show Know It or Show It in honor of the colder weather, aptly called Know It or SNOW It. We’re very proud of ourselves for that one. Our sexy models Krista, Bobbi, and Carrie took turns going up to the Snow-dium (less proud of that one), and tried their best to answer winter trivia. This time around, the game ended with three very naked ladies dancing around in a no-budget snowstorm, which is the safest snowstorm to be naked in.

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We took a quick break and then it was time to continue our Winter Under-land outdoor fun-time activities. Today we had our lovely ladies skate around the rink right here in the studio! Ok, so maybe they slid around on an oiled-up tarp, BUT that’s pretty much the same thing. This was a historic moment because it marks the first time any man has ever cared about figure skating. The trick is to have the figures themselves be nude.

Finally, we unwrapped another present from under our fabulous Morning Show Non-Denominational, Totally Politically Correct Wintertime Green Tree! Or Xmas Tree for short. The ladies found some stockings in their gift today, and not just your regular old Christmas stockings, but fishnet Christmas stockings. They’re not as good about holding gifts, but they make your chimney mantle look a hell of a lot sexier.

It’s Hump Day, so let’s get over it.

We began the craziness today with a lightning round of Good Naked/Bad Naked, where a nudist-exclusive realtor was deemed good, and a crazy windshield-bashing crazy naked man was deemed bad. But who are we to pass judgment?

Next, we continued our Winter Under-land outdoor snow activities with a good old-fashioned snowball fight. Our sexy ladies Chloe and Lindsey came in and threw down from behind their snow forts with deadly accuracy. Being naked must increase your aim. It definitely makes you harder to hit.

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After that, we welcomed in actress and writer Jenny Mollen, who is a regular contributor to Playboy.com and TSJ’s Sex and Dating articles and “What She Said” pieces. Jenny talked about her latest Playboy.com article, which involves her pregnancy (she’s married to Jason Biggs), and what it’s done to her sex drive (it’s made her insatiable).

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Since she’s also a Twitter superstar (she won a Twitter award, so you know it’s legit), we figured we’d play another round of Top Teets vs. Top Tweets. Our models Chloe, Lindsey, and Ali Rose came in to tweet and also distract with their tops off. This time it worked, as Jenny was dumbfounded. Although that may have had something to do with the fact that the topic involved Nelson Mandela. Either way.

Happy Tuesday, folks! Remember, the best way to keep yourself warm is to keep watching our show.

We started things off today by talking about a new trend that’s started in the more immature people of the country: butt-slapping. What’s butt slapping you ask? It’s exactly what it sounds like: unsuspecting backsides are getting touched all over the place, and some people are less than happy. We can’t really imagine why.

Next, we continued our Winter Under-land activities by making snow angels. Cody and Rachel came into the studio to show off their horizontal jumping-jacks in our faux-snow pile. The best way to stay warm during a naked snow angel is by stacking your other naked friend on top, which also helps push more snow, so… you know… win-win.

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After that, we welcomed in Meital, who is a singer/songwriter/actress (aka the big three), to talk about her new song “Give Us Back Love,” which is available on iTunes and Beatport. She talked about her two Israeli Oscar Noms, and what it’s like being naked on camera. On an unrelated note, anyone who can rock a tiger-print cat suit like that is alright in our book.

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We then took a break for a moment, and then it was time for another Naughty or Nice List throwdown. Rachel came in to tell us a story, as Cody and Toryn played the angel and devil and tried to win her soul for their side. After the dust settled, Rachel was thrown up on the Naughty List along with Andrea and Emily Rose. It’s getting a little one-sided…

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Ah, Monday. Everything’s still got that new week smell.

We began things today by checking in with the Titty Pick re-cap, and discovered that the titties are slowly gaining on the brains, little by little. Don’t count them out yet.

Next, we began our week-long Winter Under-land segment, where our models get into their snow-bunny hats and gloves and sex-ify a fun outdoor winter activity. Today’s cold-weather fun was building a snow man, a standard in all front yards where snow falls. Our sexy models Chelsie, Peru, and Heleina came in to put together their ideal snow-man and put him on display next to our tree. It’s beginning to look a lot like Tits-mas.

After that, we spoke via Skype with Kennedy Summers, our December Playmate. This German-born, American-raised beauty has been a professional model for years, and it shows: she worked her spread like only a pro could. She also made it through all six of her Playmate Pick Six questions, and fended off an attack by her dog at the same time. That’s real skill right there.

We took a quick break, and then we welcomed in Drama, from the MTV show “Fantasy Factory,” which starts its final season in January. Drama gave us some insight on what it’s like having keys to the factory, and the responsibility that comes with it (see: bringing ladies there to bone in the foam pit).

Drama stuck around to watch as our ladies unwrapped another present, while also getting unwrapped themselves. Today it was a camera, and the ladies took some sexy shots to put on their Christmas cards. Talk about a stocking stuffer…

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Happy Hump Day, ya’ll. Let’s get to the show.

Today we kick-started the show by playing another round of our favorite holiday game, Camel Toe vs. Mistletoe. Today’s subject was the lovely Kaysee, who really did a good job of hiding that thing, fooling even the most learned of coochie scientists. Like, whoa.

After that, we checked out another Movie Trailer Review, this time featuring the film “Madea’s Christmas” from director Tyler Perry. The ladies loved what they saw, giving it 4 nips up. For those of you keeping track at home, that means this movie trailer is 3 times better than the one for “It’s a Wonderful Life.” So, take everything with a grain of salt.

Next, we welcomed in rapper and producer Kid Ink, who (as his name indicates) is covered in tattoos. He talked about his new video with Chris Brown, and how to distinguish fans from groupies. It’s a really fine line.

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Since Kid is such a tattoo expert, we thought we’d play Lady and the Tramp Stamp with him, where we try to guess whether our sexy models have ink above the stink. Eden, Kaysee, and Mariah all came in with their lower backs wrapped up with bows and answered questions about how they like sex, to see if there were any tell-tale tramp stamp signs. After much interrogation, they revealed that none of them had tats… at least, not on the small of their back.

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After a short break, we came back and featured Kid’s directorial debut, as he gave pointers to our ladies on how to shoot the perfect music video that could be played this New Year’s Eve. Tune in tomorrow to see if we can salvage anything we shot, or if the entire thing is left on the cutting room floor.

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It’s Tuesday, and if you’re anything like us, you’re officially sick of Christmas music. Good news is, you won’t find any of that here.

We kicked off the show today by taking a look a news story involving a porn movie being mistaken for “Smurf’s 2.” Kevin and Andrea saw the news coverage and tried their best to “Abuse the News,” by coming up with their own Smurf-related sex puns in their best local news anchor cadence. Watch out Ron Burgundy.

After that, we took another look at our Movie Trailer Reviews, with today’s film, “Elf.” Our topless beauties haven’t actually seen the movie, but they did watch the trailer, and both gave it one nip up.

Next, we took a look at some more news stories for our Good Naked/Bad Naked segment. You know the drill: we judge whether people in the world were doing the clothes-less thing right or whether they need some help. Today, we heard about a teacher’s naked photos leaking from her stolen iPhone, and a man masturbating in the meat aisle of a local grocery store. More like “gross”-ery.

Following that, we picked another set of numbers for any of you playing the Mega Millions lottery today. If you win it all, be sure to send us some. You owe us, dammit!

We took a two-minute break and then came back to talk to Aaron Rose of “Erotic Bakery LA” on the phone about his ultra-realistic sexy cakes. You’ve gotta see them to believe them, so check out his websitewww.eroticbakeryusa.com.

As that was going on, our lovely models Carly, Christina, and Ivy set to work making some sexy cookies of their own. It must come with the territory of being a hot chick that you can also make hot cookies, because they turned out great. If you’re looking to spice up your company holiday party, and don’t have an HR department, this is the way to do it.

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Happy Monday, folks. It’s our last week before we take a little Christmas break, so let’s make it count.

We started things off today by checking in with some bad pick-up lines that hot chicks hear… read by hot chicks themselves. Even attractive girls can’t make these lines seem like a good idea.

Next, we talked on the phone to Dr. Anthony Youn, a plastic surgeon whose recent CNN article has gone viral because it purports that man boobs can be caused by smoking pot. Stoners everywhere are totally freaked out, man, but the jury’s still out, so don’t harsh your vibes too much. Since we’re on the subject of moobs, we decided to put Kevin and Andrea’s knowledge of breasts to the test with our game Boobs vs. Moobs. Think you can tell whether a nipple belongs to a man or a woman? We used to think so too, and now… well, now we don’t really know what to believe…

We took a two minute break, and then it was time to play a traditional game here in the Mini Mansion, Mistletoe or Camel Toe. The beautifulSamantha came in and Kevin and Andrea had to guess if she was smuggling  a little something extra in her panties. You know, besides her lady parts.

After that, we welcomed in Sarah and London to help pick the Mega Millions numbers for you fine folks out there playing the lottery. At half a billion dollars, you’d be crazy not to. For those of you keeping track at home, the numbers are 10, 26, 36, 40, 55, and a mega 11. Good luck! You’ll need it.

Finally, we closed the show today by doing another Present Unwrapping, and today’s gift was the gift of dance! Santa’s Lap Dance, to be specific, and London showed her moves on the laps of Sarah and Sam as we signed off for the day. If your shopping center Santa starts asking for lap dances, notify your nearest mall cop.

Happy Thirsty Thursday, ya’ll. You’ve finally gotten over your New Year’s hangover, which means it’s time to start making a new one!

We started things off today by talking with Mr. Skin, who has all the deets on celebrity nudity. How we’ve missed his generous nature and punny ways. Check his site for what to expect in the coming year. See, we can make puns, too.

After that we welcomed in David Koechner, funny comedian and actor best known as Champ from “Anchorman.” David talked with us about his upcoming comedy tour and what it’s like being on set with Will Ferrell. Since Champ’s phrase “Whammy” has become so popular, we decided to try our own, “Panty!” to announce their own sports plays. Let’s just say, we’ll leave it to the pros.

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Then, we welcomed in Miss September 2013, Bryiana Noelle, who is one of 12 possible contenders in this year’s Playmate of the Year! It’s a very exciting time for everyone here at Playboy, and to make sure everyone chooses wisely, we played “Who Knows the Playmate’s Breast?” where our Playmate, David, Kevin, and Andrea all get a close-up look a pair of boobs, and they have to guess which month’s issue they appeared in. We even tried to trick Bryiana by showing some very familiar breasts, but she looked down and recognized them pretty quickly.

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After a short break, David had to peace out, but Bryiana stuck around to do a Speed Dream Date-off with Kevin and Andrea, where Andrea took her to the beach, and Kevin drove her to a drive-in movie. It really wasn’t much of a contest, and Bryiana liked Andrea’s the best, but you can’t fault Kevin for trying…

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To close out the show, we had our sexy models Tawny, Paris, and Bobbi come in and ask questions of our Playmate, to see why she deserves to be this year’s PMOY. It’s gonna be a tight race, folks.

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Also! Here’s a pic of all 12 months of our calendar featuring Ali Rose, Sarah, Amber, and Halszka for those of you who want to stay sexy all year long:

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It’s hump day, which means… it’s the middle of the week. Get your mind out of the gutter.

Today started with a tease from Lacey Wildd, who will be a guest later in the week, so that we can prepare some questions to ask her. This particular woman has had extensive plastic surgery (she’s knocking things off shelves and tables around her house), and wants to have triple Q breasts next. Yes, you read that right.

After that, we talked on the phone with Lisa Napoli, author of the book “Road to Shangri-La” about her trip to Bhutan where she discover that all of the buildings have dicks drawn all over them. And no, it’s not because they’re a country of teenage boys, it’s because they believe that they ward off demons. It seems like they’re working, right?

We continued on, welcoming in comedian Lil Duval from the MTV2 show “Ain’t That America,” where he and a panel of funny people look at clips from the internet and make fun of them some more. Lil Duval also talked about his favorite countries for hookers and about why doesn’t sleep with anyone under 23 anymore.

We kept Lil Duval in to help us Abuse the News. In this week’s story, an interracial couple found a valet had written “jungle fever” on their card, and they were upset about it. This story was ripe for pun and parody and Kevin, Andrea, and Lil did not disappoint.

After a quick breaky-break our sexy models, Chelsea, Emily Rose,Chloe Rayne, and Melissa all came in to play a special “Dick-tionary” round of Chick-tionary, in honor of the people of Bhutan’s beloved anti-demon dick drawing debauchery. As the wheel of body parts was spun, the ladies took up their brushes to do their best to recreate the type of dick on another girl’s body. Who knew there were so many types of dicks? Not us.

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Happy First Topless Tuesday of the new year, ladies and gentlemen!

We started things off today with the first of several “Thawing Off With Hotties” tips, where a sexy lady gives you the best ways to stay warm during this extremely cold winter. We checked in with more throughout the show and, who knows, they could even end up saving your life.

After that, we began our interactive #PlayboyPoll over Twitter and the phone lines, to see how men prefer their ladies: in lingerie, in costume, or in the buff. We’ll check back at the very end to see who emerges victorious.

Next, Andrea Titty-picked last night’s BCS championship game, in a Playboy Morning Show first-time post-game pick. Andrea was right, going with FSU, and passed this test of her mettle.

After the break, we talked on Skype with the super sexy cyber girls Kella Dawn and Stefanie Knight, who are currently in places where it is freezing cold (The Midwest and Canada, respectively). We talked to them about keeping warm and what it’s like to be such a hottie in the tundra. After that, we attempted to play “Last Nipple Standing,” where the girls stand outside for a minute each and we see whose nipples can stay erect the longest. Unfortunately, the weather froze up our connections to these beauties, and it seems like we lost them in a white-out. We may need to send out a search party. Or you could just search Playboy.com if you want to see pics… Up to you.

Finally, after many ups and downs, fully nude came out on top in our Playboy Poll, followed by costumes and then lingerie. Can’t say we’re surprised.

Hello all, and Happy New Year! The Playboy Morning Show is back and ready to kick this year off right, so let’s get to it.

Today began with the first of our couple months of our very own sexy calendar. We did the work, so all you have to do is take the pictures and make the calendar yourself. So maybe not all the work… Anyway, we ran through each month throughout the show so that you have something nice to look instead of just stupid numbers in boxes.

After that, Andrea ran us through an old favorite, the Filthy Forecast! Today’s lucky city is Boston, which looks to be pretty chilly, but Andrea kept it hot, hot, hot.

We also had our beautiful models Ali Rose, Halszka, Sarah, and Amber come in and get some of their Lez-olutions for the new year out of the way early. Who says nobody ever sticks to those?

We took a short break, and then we continued our super sexy calendar, and talked to Layla Martin from orgasmicbliss.com. She teaches a six-week course on how to have amazing, more explosive orgasms, so if you forgot someone sexy on your Christmas list, this might make for a good make-up gift… Just sayin’.

Finally, in celebration of Kevin’s birthday on the first of this year, some naked girls brought him cake and danced around. But let’s be honest, it’s kinda like his birthday is every day.

Happy Middle of the Week! The time glass is officially half full. Or half empty, depending on your outlook.

We started the show off today by doing a Pubic Service Announcement. We feel it’s our duty to keep as many pubic regions safe as possible, so we let you know that pubic-grooming-related injuries are on the rise in all age brackets, so be careful, pay attention, and take your time. Don’t become a statistic.

Next, we continued our Sextra Points, making sure that you’re up-to-date on all the football terms and definitions so that you can look like a certified football guru at your Super Sunday party. Today’s words were “field goal” and “fumble.” You’re welcome.

After that, we Skype’d with Darla, who is a nudist who was recently evicted from her home in her colony when she voiced her concern at the nudists around her engaging in crazy sex acts all over the place. Usually, we’d say doing that stuff is perfectly fine, but in the nudist community, there’s a time and a place, even more than our boring clothes-on world, so we’re inclined to agree with her on this one.

Throughout the show today, we took a poll on which style of underwear men prefer to see on their ladies. The options were: bikini, thong, boy shorts, and commando. As could be expected, commando took the lead right out of the gate and held on for the entire show. Men are so predictable.

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We took a short break and then welcomed in Bradley Lords, from the Showtime series “Gigolos.” Bradley is, in real life, a gigolo who goes on dates with women for money. Sounds like a job any man would envy, but it takes a certain breed of handsome gent to pull in the high-profile clientele Bradley and his company see. We talked to him about what it’s like going out in Vegas with different women every night, and why women pay for the boyfriend treatment.

Finally, we had our models Chelsea, Toryn, Hailee, and Chloe come in and play a game where they guessed how much it would cost them to spend certain amounts of time with Bradley. Based on his answers, it sounds like he’s doing pretty well for himself. Both financially and otherwise.

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Happy Tuesday, ya’ll. We had a real barn burner today, which we don’t really understand, but somebody said was good so we’ll take it.

We began things by looking at another one of our fine Sextra Points, to help the less-football-conscious get to know some key terms before your inevitable Super Sunday party. Come for the guac, stay for the talk.

After that, we showed the first of many of our Just the Tip: Sick Sex segments, where we help you get over the cold and flue season the Playboy way: sweat it, ride it, and sex it out. Our lovely modelsVictoria, Kaysee, and Justina showed off their doctor skills and also some fine bedroom remedies for what ails you. We’ll take their treatment any day.

Following those helpful tidbits, we talked on the phone with Nicholas Sweeney, the director of the British documentary “Secrets of the Living Dolls,” which chronicles people who put on what they call a “second skin.” It’s super interesting behavior and Nicholas dove right in to what he discovered in this very secretive world. Don’t confuse this film with those Chucky movies they put out every Halloween.

We took a break and came back with some more Points and Tips to keep the information rolling, and then put on our lab coats and safety glasses for some Sex MythBusters! Today’s myth we tested was whether hot girls get hornier when their temperature goes up or when it goes down. First we cooled off our ladies and showed them things that make women get riled up, and then we had them huddle together for warmth to see if their opinions changed. We’re not sure if this follows the scientific method, but we don’t care, we had fun doing it; and that’s what science is all about.

Another week, another set of Playboy Morning Shows. Let’s roll ‘em out!

Today’s show started off with a tease for our Super-tacular Tailgate Special, which airs on Super Sunday February 2nd. This segment is called “Sextra Point,” and features some football terminology for you to brush up on so that you don’t look like a doofus while watching the game. So study up!

Next, we welcomed in Melissa Howe, of the Howe Twins, to talk about her new pictorial. She was going to come in with her sister, but she was “sick,” so we called Carla Howe up on the phone to see what was really up. Turns out it’s part sickness, part hangover, but that doesn’t change the fact that their pillow fight pictures are still super hot, so be sure to keep your eyes open for those.

We kept Melissa in for the first of many recurring “How-To with The Howe Twins” segments, where Melissa walks us through some simple tasks and teaches us how to do them. So much learning going on today.

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Next, we welcomed in Sabina Kelley, star of the reality show “Best Ink,” which is a reality show that features would-be tattoo artists competing for a cash prize and story in Tattoo Magazine. She’s recently divorced and looking to have fun, so she’s right at home here in the Mini Mansion. If tattooed ladies are your thing, you couldn’t do much better than Sabrina, just ask her weird Spanish stalker. Actually, don’t do that.

After a short break, we finished off the show with a little MLK Day celebration: Black, White, or Both? This game features answers over our models’ breasts that are either (you guessed it) Black, White, or Both. It sounds simple, but you could’ve fooled us after seeing how it went down. Apparently we still have more to learn.

It’s Thursday, and we had a great show lined up for you.

We began things by showing you who is going to be doing our Super Spectacular Tailgate Show before the big game… it’s R & B superstar Jason Derulo! He’ll be stopping by this Sunday, and we hope you will be too. It’s the only place to get tail before the football game, because they’re not gonna let you tailgate.

Next, we featured a story about women in South Korea who are making thousands of dollars a month simply by eating in front of their webcams. Seems like a sweet gig (depending on the food, I guess), and we gave you our American-ized versions throughout the show today. If there’s one thing we know how to do, it’s eat.

After that we welcomed in TV personality and all-around product man Tony Little. Tony talked about the legion of products he’s endorsed over the years, including his new one: diet popcorn. He was even nice enough to give Gigi some workout tips. We can’t think of a better person to play Ass Scene vs. As Seen with, where we hear a title and guess whether it’s an infomercial product or porno movie. This is one of those games that gets harder the more you think about it, but Tony crushed it, proving he’s truly the king of As Seen on TV.

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We took a quick break, and then came back to talk to Heidi van Horny, a 22-year-old pornstar who is looking forward to her 23rd birthday, and plans to spend it by sleeping with 23 different guys. Good thing she’s not any older, right?

Finally, we wrapped things up with a little debate between heads and tails. Even the coin flip isn’t safe from being bet on during Super Sunday, and we had our two beautiful ladies Paris and Chelsie come in to tell you why you should pick one or the other. You know, just in case you’re 50/50.

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Hello everyone. There’s an old saying that goes: words are like sound inside of your brain, and reading about the Playboy Morning Show is almost as good as watching it.

We started today’s show by talking with Mr. Skin, who is going on vacation tomorrow, and we will miss him dearly. But! He promised us a Skin-geyser of celeb nudity when he comes back, and that almost makes it all worth it.

After that, we did a special live-action Sextra Point featuring referee Carly and challenger Ali Rose, who went through more football terms so you know everything you need to know before the big game on Sunday. Be sure to watch our pre-game great TAILgate beforehand, at 1pm Pacific Time, too. It’ll be the sexiest pre-game show on TV by far.

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Next, we welcomed in Crista Flanagan, Eddie Ritchard, Desiree Hall, and Samantha Colburn from the new film “Best Night Ever,” which opens in theaters this Friday. The film features “found-footage” of these four ladies traipsing around Vegas and getting into all sorts of trouble, so be sure to check it out.

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It’s rare that we have four beautiful guests on our couch at one time, and four beautiful models in the studio as well, so we decided to play some Playboy Feud: Best Night Ever vs. Breast Day Ever. In a close game, the actresses came out on top of the models, but not before the lead changed hands several times. A Mini Mansion divided cannot stand… so they made up and all was right again. Now we just have to find somewhere to bury the hatchet…

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It’s Tuesday, and every day brings us closer and closer to that beautiful summer weather. Unless you live here in Los Angeles… it’s 75 degrees here today. Don’t be jealous.

We started the show off today by checking in with the first of of our many “Guess That ‘Gasm” orgasm types. Apparently there is an orgasm for every season and every reason. We saw the likes of the “Faux-gasm,” the “Snore-gasm,” and the “Surprise-gasm.” Know your types, so you can tell the real deal from the fake shake.

Next, we checked out a Feastiality which featured the Monte Crisco burger. We’re going to let you work for your diabetes and look that monstrosity up for yourself. We can’t be an accessory to heart failure.

After that, we welcomed in Cody, Kourtnee, and Kaysee to talk about revenge sex. A new study says that about 25% of people do it, but OUR study showed that that number is much higher in hot chicks. It’s easier for them, so it’s not their fault.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Natalia Reagan, from “10 Million Dollar Bigfoot Bounty,” a TV show that is offering a huge cash prize to anyone who can come up with real, hard evidence of Bigfoot’s existence. So get those cameras ready, folks. It could be your meal ticket.

Since Natalia seems to be such an expert in monsters, we played “Who Would You Do?” This game features two very different types of mythical creatures and we debate on who we’d rather sleep with, weighing the pros and cons, of course. It’s not just for sleepovers anymore!

Mondays are as inevitable as death and taxes. Fortunately for you, that also means another great episode of the Playboy Morning show!

We started things off by checking out a new product on select shelves across the country: boob deodorant. It’s not just for grandmas anymore, and apparently it’s in high demand. Hey, sometimes you gotta get that underboob sweat under control.

Then we connected on Skype with Miss February 2013 Shawn Dillon, yet another Playmate who is campaigning to be the next Playmate of the Year. So many eligible ladies, how do you choose? We don’t envy the voters this time around, they’ve got their work cut out for them.

Next, it was time for some Good Naked/Bad Naked, where we take news stories of rude nudes and make them sexy. Today we saw stories that featured a man posting naked pictures of his ex at her place of work and a naked man gyrating next to his mailbox. Our girls Lisa, Paula, Mariela, and Sarah came in to do their best in sexy-ifying these worsts.

We took a short break, and then welcomed in Eugenia Kuzmenia, a super hot Siberian model who knows more than her fair share of catwalks and red carpets. Since she’s so learned in the ways of glamour and the mishaps that can happen when your thin dress decides to fall down, we debuted a few lesser-known slips that you probably won’t be seeing on any award show pre-show. At least, not any we’ve heard of…

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Happy Thirsty Thursday, everyone. If you need some hot ladies in your life, you’ve come to the right place.

We started this Thursday like we start most Thursdays: by talking with Mr. Skin, purveyor of all kinds of celebrity nudity. We enjoy his puns and pics, and if you want to see more, be sure to check out his website.

After that, we welcomed in esteemed author, self-made millionaire, and 90-year-old gentleman Dan Horowitz aka “Pillow Dan.” Dan’s book “The Pillow Treatment” came out a few years ago, and since then, he’s been a favorite guest of our show and we decided to check in with him and see how the good life is going. Dan’s doing fine out in Vegas, but we realized he never had a proper book signing, so our eager models Jenna, Helenea, and  Lauren came in to have him sign their copies of the book, their personal pillows, and even their own bodies. Dan was more than happy to oblige.

Next, we read some excerpts from Dan’s book (“The Pillow Treatment,” available on Amazon), and then took some reviews we found online and read those, too. We’re all about promoting literacy here on the Morning Show.

We took a short break, and then it was time for Pillow Talk with Pillow Dan, where the girls sat on a bed and asked Dan some personal questions and got his advice. Dan has years and years of experience, and boiled most things down to either buying his book or coming home with him to his backyard. Simple instructions, but if he made it to 90, we’ll take his word to the bank.

Finally, we had Dan referee a good ol’ fashioned pillow fight. The color commentary from him was a bit lacking, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t paying attention… In fact, it’s probably the opposite. If you want to be more like Dan, and hear about his amazing life, give his book a read… It might just change your life.

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Happy Middle of the Week! The time glass is officially half full. Or half empty, depending on your outlook.

We started the show off today by doing a Pubic Service Announcement. We feel it’s our duty to keep as many pubic regions safe as possible, so we let you know that pubic-grooming-related injuries are on the rise in all age brackets, so be careful, pay attention, and take your time. Don’t become a statistic.

Next, we continued our Sextra Points, making sure that you’re up-to-date on all the football terms and definitions so that you can look like a certified football guru at your Super Sunday party. Today’s words were “field goal” and “fumble.” You’re welcome.

After that, we Skype’d with Darla, who is a nudist who was recently evicted from her home in her colony when she voiced her concern at the nudists around her engaging in crazy sex acts all over the place. Usually, we’d say doing that stuff is perfectly fine, but in the nudist community, there’s a time and a place, even more than our boring clothes-on world, so we’re inclined to agree with her on this one.

Throughout the show today, we took a poll on which style of underwear men prefer to see on their ladies. The options were: bikini, thong, boy shorts, and commando. As could be expected, commando took the lead right out of the gate and held on for the entire show. Men are so predictable.

We took a short break and then welcomed in Bradley Lords, from the Showtime series “Gigolos.” Bradley is, in real life, a gigolo who goes on dates with women for money. Sounds like a job any man would envy, but it takes a certain breed of handsome gent to pull in the high-profile clientele Bradley and his company see. We talked to him about what it’s like going out in Vegas with different women every night, and why women pay for the boyfriend treatment.

Finally, we had our models Chelsea, Toryn, Hailee, and Chloe come in and play a game where they guessed how much it would cost them to spend certain amounts of time with Bradley. Based on his answers, it sounds like he’s doing pretty well for himself. Both financially and otherwise.

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Tuesday 1/21/14

Monday 1/20/14

It’s just another Tuesday in paradise here at the Mini Mansion.

We started off the show today by giving you a Topless Ten list, this time around for the new Milk slogan. They’ve done away with the famous “Got Milk?” ads, and the time is ripe to give them our suggestions. All ten of our ideas are winners, so don’t be surprised if “Milk Me” or “It’s Liquid Cheese” is the next big slogan.

After that, we saw another one of our awesome Topless Movie Trailer Reviews, featuring hot models who haven’t seen the movie. Today we looked at “Philomena” and “Wolf of Wall Street,” in an effort to help the academy know which trailers convey the story best.

Next, we talked on the phone with Ravi of the “Mile Low Club” submarine excursion, where you can have a romantic getaway under the sea. If you’ve never had sex 20,000 leagues below, step up your game and get on the ship, mate.

In honor of getting it on beneath the waves, we had our lovely models Victoria, Kate, Toryn, and Destiny play a round of Truth or Bare: Transportation Edition! All the girls’ stories involved sex on some form of transport, and let’s just say that sometimes you don’t even need to stop to get it going. As the girls fooled Kevin and Andrea, they got to pick paints to use in the next segment…

After the break, we came back to Skype with Sally Golan, who hosts naked paint parties in New York, and is even beginning to tour it around North America. As we talked about these super sexy neon black light affairs, we watched our models paint each other with their paints they earned during Truth or Bare.

Once they were good and painted up, they ran over to our totally awesome rave-tastic black light room and showed off their new looks and their dance moves, too. It almost makes us wonder if we couldn’t do an entire show in black light… We think it could look pretty cool.

Happy Monday, all! Let’s get to the show…

We started this week afresh, and in its honor we installed the first ever Playboy Morning Show Kiss Cam to shoot around our offices and force people to make out in front of a large crowd. Good thing most of the people who work here are hot chicks.

After that, it was time to bring out the craziest nude stories from around the world, and tell you if they are Good Naked or Bad Naked. As a rule, anytime you bring up the Penis Museum, you can tell it’s going to be good.

Next, we welcomed in comedian and author Geoff Keith to talk about his book “Guys Have No Game.” Geoff also happens to be on “Jerks with Cameras,” on MTV and before we welcomed in his two co-pranksters, we wanted to turn the tables on them. We let Geoff help us out, and let him in on the joke, which was that we were holding a sexy blind chick pageant.

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After the break, we brought in Kara Ruiz and Grant Cotter, two of the pranksters on “Jerks With Cameras,” to join Geoff on the couch. We let them believe that they were going to be judging a Sexy Blind Chick pageant, with talent rounds and Q and A, before ultimately filling them in. They actually looked pretty surprised, so we’ll call this one a win.

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